(Full disclosure, I cheated a little - didn't stop when the ten minutes was up. I'll allow it. Gonna say ten minutes is the minimum and also when the timer goes off that's when it's also time to start making an effort to stop.) Today I woke up late and still tired, achey, some of that maybe leftovers of response to the flux and covid vax, some of that my having stayed up too late, and maybe didn’t have enough water? The day was kind of a blur, definitely ate and drank too little, got a headache.
Just as I was typing that one of the cats came over to say hi and the way she said hi was by reaching out a single paw and setting on my inner thigh - I’m typing sitting crosslegged on the floor with my little pink bluetooth keyboard - and she got her claws out and one got stuck in my jeans and my leg, so I unpicked that and said something appreciative like ‘that hurts when you claw me, stupid’ and she walked away. This is what long term relationships are like, I guess.
So what happened today, let’s see. Oh I went for a walk and made a work phone call. I assume I did some work, feels like a worky day but I dunno. Then I drove in to work to print some stuff - our home printer died a while back, our second to do so I think, they’re like goldfish, those printers, the main reason to get them is to teach your kids about death - and to update my password as required.
The password update requires the laptop to be plugged in to the wired network, as I learned after I reset the password while connected to the wireless network. I didn’t have the, the d- the, the d... - ugh, fine, I’ll say it, the dongle, I didn’t have the dongle. God. The indignities we are subjected to. Without the dongle I could not connect to the wired network to fix the problems that would definitely result from having only sort of reset my password. On the way out I saw a coworker I like very much, or really he saw me, I walked by his open office door without registering it, I was in that bad mood zone where being in the bad mood is taking up a lot of focus, concentration going into frowning and muttering internally about the long list of wrongs and how stupidly exasperating life has been for the last 45 years. He said hey and I was like ‘oh hey’ so then we stepped outside and chatted and it turned my whole afternoon around. He’s getting married soon, which is lovely and happy, he’s in a lifestage where focusing on being in love is his thing, as opposed to my lifestage where I focus on, hmm, my mind went blank there, I guess that’s what I focus on, on blanking out, gonna dissociate my way to retirement apparently?
Then I hugged him goodbye, wasn’t sure he was into the hug, might have been just being polite, there’s a stiffness sometimes in a hug, you know? This is also the kind of thing I focus on I guess, overanalyzing, is that what this is? I walked over to the IT office and it took a while but they got the computer thing all sorted out. The IT people were like 20, literally. I was chatting, that’s another thing I focus on, smalltalk, which come to think of it sits exactly at the middle of dissociating and overanalyzing. I mentioned being old and formerly good with computers a little, in the 1980s, and the youngling laughed patiently. Age is accelerated by technological innovation and income level - fucked if I know how shit works anymore. Age is also accelerated by temperament. I’ll be damned if I’m learning this bullshit, I got overanalyzing and dissociating to do.
Once the computer was taken care of I drove home. My wife took one of the kids on an outing and the others were playing and my head hurt so I took a nap, which really helped and is maybe part of why the earlier part of the day is a blur, sitting as it does on the other side of the valley of sleep from where I am now. I made everybody dinner and my wife and other kid got home. I did some chores, took out the recycling, and we watched a cartoon called Bluey, I’m into it, cute Australian dogs.
The weather’s gotten good, in the 50s or 60s I’d guess so I got to wear a sweater. I grumped a little that sweater season looks to be short, it stayed hot too long and is gonna get proper cold soon. My family claimed that I can sweaters for a long while but the point is to wear JUST a sweater. I mean not JUST a sweater, I had on shoes and pants of course, I’m not one to uncover this loathsome fleshsack entrapping my soul. Taking the recycling out wearing that sweater was great, lovely cool and cozy. I suppose I could have just gone outside without taking out the recycling but it had to go out and all, unless we were to burn it, which would be pretty amazing.
Is that the day? I think so. I also read some stupid junk on the internet, oh and I had a cup of tea. Tea is like a sweater for your insides, it’s made of wool too, I choose to believe.
